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Father's Day Mamanista

Celebrating My 1st Father’s Day

June 21, 2015

This is my first year celebrating Father’s Day with my own father.  I’ve shared with you guys several times that I’ve never had a relationship with my father.  This year, for the first time in my life, I sent him a Father’s Day card.  Before I get into the details, I want to say Happy Father’s Day to my husband, aka Mister.  I truly believe God blessed me with such an amazing husband that happens to be an even more amazing father.  I fall in love with him with more and more every day watching his interaction with Peyton.  We even fight over Peyton to spend quality time with her on the weekend when we both have different activities we want to do.  I don’t know if Peyton realizes how blessed she is to have such a wonderful dad.  I just pray she can find this type of man to marry and have children with when she gets older (much older).

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My mother and father were never a couple.  So there was no divorce or split-up to speak of.  I just never knew him.  Period.  I wasn’t until I started watching the Cosby Show that I realized that kids had dads.  I always wondered why I didn’t have one.  There were no occasional visits, trips to the park or to get ice cream.  Nothing.  In my twenties, he tried to reach out to me.  I felt that I had made it this far without him, why start now.  Every few years, I would answer the phone when he called.  I even met his kids once (much older than me).  But when Father’s Day rolled around, I never thought to send him a card or give him a call.  It wasn’t to be spiteful, I just never even thought about it.

Just this past April, he reached out to me while I was in Chicago for my niece’s wedding and said he wanted to see me.  His wife just passed, so I offered my condolences and paid my respects.  Before meeting with him, God spoke to me and told me I could do better.  No matter what he didn’t do for me, I could be a better daughter to him.  I wanted to fight with God, but I said ok.  My father asked to meet with me so I agreed.  I had Peyton with me.  This was his first time seeing Peyton, his granddaughter.  Of course she was confused, but she rolled with it.  To my surprised during this meeting, he offered up apologies for not being there.  Not being there for birthdays, graduations, weddings, and Peyton.  I was not expecting to hear that.  I had waited all my life for this.  It was a huge release for me.  Even though I thought I dealt with this situation very well, I feel like I’m able to move forward and actually pursue a relationship.

This year, I purchased a card and put it in the mail (kinda late).  That was huge for me.  I know I’m not the only person in this situation.  I’m sharing my story because if it wasn’t for God telling me to let go, I would not have been able to be at complete peace with the situation.  Yes, it took almost 37 years, but it happened.  It’s never to late for anyone to make a change as long as they are still breathing.  Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing fathers!

  • BlitzAndGlam
    June 21, 2015 at 9:35 am

    This was very touching, Trina! *hug*

  • Tasha
    June 21, 2015 at 9:37 am

    I love you even more for this. The honesty and so much more. This is a true testament to being a woman of God. Also, being obedient and showing Peyton so much. My parents spilt when I was a kid & my dad actually raised me. So accepting my mom back into my life was hard but I am thankful.

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  • Constance
    June 21, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    A truly beautiful story Trina. Thank you for sharing with all of your friends & readers because you didn’t have to. My story was a little different because I did get to spend time with my father but I never got to really know him because he passed when I was 14. I’m so glad that you listened to God and decided to be open to a relationship with him. I would love to have that chance to do so with my own. ***Hugs & Kisses*** as I hold back the tears.

  • Leimom
    June 21, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    This story resonated with me. My daughter is going though the same thing. She said something to me today at church that tugged at my heart. “Mommy I wish my dad was there to hear that message, he needs a private session with the pastor. ”
    She loves her father and he comes around every three months it seems, but she knows that she only has a father as in birthright; not a ” daddy” as in putting in the time.
    The pastor stated a “man can be a father; but it is much harder for a child to have a daddy”.

    Again thanks for your story and your budding relationship with your father.

  • Angel
    June 21, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Blessings to you and your lovely family this Father’s Day. Some may not believe it, but when God puts something on your heart and in your spirit, whether you want to or not, you will follow his instructions. So glad you were able to make such a step before it was too late. Stay blessed:)

  • Bobbie
    June 21, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    What a great story, Trina! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • Joey
    June 22, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Thank you so much for sharing something so deep and personal. I have a similar story in that my father disappeared for years after him and my Mother broke up and I did not see him again until I was months away from my wedding. Although he calls from time to time and sends card for holidays, it is still a challenge for me to except these gestures. So thank you for listening to God talking to you and reminding me to do what’s right and what God wants me to do and not what’s easy.

  • Tiffany
    June 22, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    A great story. I went through almost the same thing. I didn’t know my dad well, my mom and dad divorced when I was really small and when he wanted to be in our lives for selfish reasons later on in life, I tried to do it, but in the end I saw that he was doing it for his own petty reasons – not cause he really cared about me or his grandkids. Sad but true. AnyWHO! Glad you pushed yourself to do better! Proud of ya!

  • Barbara
    June 24, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Lovely and touching story!

  • Robin
    June 25, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Don’t you just love God!! He’s the Best Father of all Fathers!!

    I’m so happy for you & P & the new baby too ! #morelovecanthurt

  • Adanna
    June 26, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    This is huge Trina! I’m glad that you listened and rolled with it. I can completely relate and hopefully someday my dad and I can get to a good place. God bless!

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