• I thank God for my family.  Out here breaking generational curses and sharing black love. There was a time when I thought being a mom was negative because I watched so many in my family, including my mom, struggle raising kids on their own. Motherhood is a struggle but the best and loving kind of struggle.
  • I want to giveaway one Supermom hoodie and monthly planner to a mom that has big goals for 2020! 
Enter by:
Following both @heytrinasmall & @supermomculture

Like & Leave a comment what goal you would like to accomplish in 2020.

Tag a Supermom friend  and share on your IG stories for additional entries! 
Open to US shipping addresses only and must be over 18. Sizes S-3X subject to availability. Ends Jan 22 at 11:59pm est. Good luck! 
This is not affiliated with Instagram
  • Somebody’s been drinking their water and minding their business 😆. My first blog post of 2020 is up! This is the year I say YES to myself more! I’m excited about it.  I also forgot I got Fendi bag on Black Friday at a consignment store because I tucked it away before Mr started asking questions! Pretty much brand new for a small fraction of the price 🙌🏾. My dress/jacket is also on sale at @recessionistasclose! Details are on the blog. Link in profile. 📷 @kaynjames
  • Y’all remember this? I saw that meme about what you call @diddy and you can tell someone’s age. Well I call him Puff. Happy Friday!  Fun fact: Peyton got some moves.  She can really dance. I don’t own the rights to this music. #puffdaddy
  • “I used to live downtown, 129th St” 🎶  My old heads know about this. That’s exactly what i look like.  Bonus points of you can tell me who or what song it’s from.  This has been my uniform (outside of my @supermomculture hoodie) over the holiday break +/- the hat. Trying to get my style mojo back for 2020! Shedding a few lbs will definitely get me inspired. Links to what I’m wearing in profile. #momstyle
  • *This pic is from Feb 19’* Get knocked down 9 times, get up 10 - Card B. I’m looking more like my before pic but I know it’s possible because I’ve done it before.  Last year was devastating for me and I ate and drank all my emotions.  I’m back at it again.  Click the link in my bio to see what helped me achieve these results.
  • Even though my voice is gone (I’m sure Mr & the girls are happy about that 😒), I’m excited for my first speaking engagement of the year for @bcollectivemag #belevated conference this month! I’ll be giving all the tea that has helped me to secure the brands. I’m so honored to be included in the line up!
  • I was holding on by a thread most of 2019. It may continue into 2020 but I’m holding on.  I thank God for keeping me. 
@supermomculture beanie is unavailable but new 🔥 drop coming in 2020!
  • Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas 🎄. Mr is missing but he’s still around 😂. To my defense, we took these before Thanksgiving and I planned to have another shoot with him but I was tired. Anywho... what y’all get?
  • Going to @chuckecheese as a kid was a big deal. #AD.  My girls feel the same way so I was happy to take them to the newly renovated @chuckecheese in Kennesaw, GA.  When we pulled up, I was like Okay Chuck E.! From the warm new look, fresh food options, tons of games made this a great evening for the kids, while mama got to chill.  If you’re in the Atlanta area go check out the Kennesaw location, you’ll be impressed with the updates. Check it out over the holiday break. Learn more about the new look on the blog.  Link in profile. #chuckecheese
  • Still over here Christmas shopping.  Looks like I’ll be spending the next two nights wrapping gifts in my #clarenceclaus paper from @greentopgifts. Who else is still shopping 🙋🏾‍♀️? Outfit details are on the blog.  Link in profile. 📷 @kaynjames
Anniversary Mamanista Marriage Parenting

Black Love: What I’ve Learned From 10 Years of Marriage

October 30, 2017

I’m still on a high from celebrating my 10 year anniversary. We enjoyed a wonderful night of wine and dining in Buckhead. Mister is known to pull out the romantic stops and he did not disappoint. It seriously felt like our wedding night again. I’m not gonna lie but I feel like I have a little marriage swag now that I’ve hit 10 years happily married. I’m not saying that my marriage has been perfect all 10 years. We’ve had some bumps in the road along the way dealing with communication, family, and finances. I’m happy to report that I am more in love with this man today than I have ever been. With no examples of #BlackLove around me, it is by God’s grace that I’m here. I thought I would share what I’ve learned over the years that have kept our love strong and growing. Materialistic items are great, but the things I’m about to mention are much more important.

  • Don’t compare your marriage to other marriages. I see the hashtag #RelationshipGoals on every photo of a good looking couple kissing. You don’t know what people have gone through to get there or if you’re willing to do it. My husband is an angel, so I give him most of the credit for our happy marriage and follow his lead. Everyone is different and our tolerance levels are different. I also don’t stay mad long so my husband lucked out with that.
  • Have sex often. Sex is a big part of a marriage. If you’re not having sex, you’re going to have problems. My husband would like it daily but we have settled on a realistic amount of times per week. Sometimes we hit that number, sometimes we don’t but we try. If either of you aren’t quite in the mood, perhaps adult content from somewhere like Tube v Sex could be used to try and get both of you sexually excited.

Shirts from Brand Ave Clothing

  • Initiate sex. We don’t always have to wait to for men tap us on the shoulder. Sometimes we should take the initiative. Everyone wants to feel wanted and desired, that includes our husbands. Sometimes it might even be a good idea to spice up the bedroom with a silicone love doll but talk to him about it first, communication is import for any sexual explorations.
  • Practice random acts of kindness. I love nothing more than to get a text in the middle of the day from my husband telling me he loves me and that I’m a great mom even though when he left me I had on ratty sweats and a bonnet on my head. I’ve followed his lead by sending him random I love you texts and messages of appreciation.
  • Pick your battles. This is super important. I don’t have the time and energy to fight everything that I don’t agree with. I save that for the big ones. Fighting every little thing is exhausting and will come off as nagging. I just say “If you think that’s best” so if it fails, he’ll know the next time *wink*!
  • Everything isn’t always 50/50. As mothers, we carry most of the load of the household and children. It is what it is. My husband works a lot and I hold it down while he’s gone. I get frustrated about mom life but when he’s home he tries his best to take things off my plate. We just need to make sure we schedule some much needed self care time away from the family to recharge.
  • Be your husbands biggest cheerleader. My husband says that I’m really good at this. I was a cheerleader in high school soooo. We need to continue to uplift our men because if we don’t who will (besides thots lol!).
  • Tackle problems together. It can be hard but try your best to work as a team when your families face challenges. We’ve dealt with unemployment and financial hardships a few times since we got married. There were times when I had to hold it down and vice versus. Now I’m at home with the girls. If I had to (I don’t want to) I would go back to work if needed. We’re a team.
  • Read the 5 Love Languages. Every couple should read this book. I read this book for a book club when I was just dating Mister. It really helps you understand that everyone feels loved in different ways. You’ll notice changes when you start speaking your partners love language.
  • Look at yourself. This ties in with love languages. What are you doing to make the marriage better? What could you be doing differently? If things don’t work out, at least you know you tried.
  • Don’t be selfish. You can’t be selfish in a marriage. Coincidently at church this Sunday, they were wrapping up the series of what Happy Couples Know. It basically boils downs to happy couples give and love without expecting anything in return. We both give 100% regardless of what we think the other is doing.
  • Marriage doesn’t change people. One of the biggest choices you make in marriage is who you marry. If the person you decide to marry is selfish before marriage, it will be magnified once you are married. Walking down the aisle doesn’t make things go away.

If you would have shared these things with me before meeting Mister, I would have been like “Girl, please! He better do this, this and this. I’m not doing this or that.” I have grown so much since meeting my husband. I always say he’s my angle because I think he’s perfect (90% of the time). He makes me want to be a better person. He says the same about me and I don’t know why. Back to my church sermon, they said that happy couples continue to think more of the other person than themselves.

I’m not sharing all this the brag about how in love I am but to encourage others. Black Love is amazing but we have to want it and work for it. I’ve shared stories about my relationship with my father that was only the last 2 years of his life. I never saw any positive examples of black love. God sent me my husband and I knew I didn’t want to mess it up. I don’t claim to be the perfect wife. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve tried to learn from them. Getting married is easy, staying married is the hard part. I hope this post helps or encourage someone.

I’ll be sharing answers to your relationship questions soon. I promise I’m not turning into a “wife” coach but I’ve kissed a lot of frogs and dogs so I know bad relationships very well. I to share and I would be wrong if I didn’t share this. Please feel free to share your marriage tips in the comments. Feel free to share this post.

  • Narisa Lloyd
    October 30, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    This post was right on time, thank you!🙏🏽

  • Kim Lucretia Edwards
    October 30, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Well written piece! Loved it. Was very helpful

  • Ima
    October 30, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    So good!!!! Honest and a great reminder for us newer wives 🙂

  • Ivory Toomer
    October 30, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    You are so real and honest. I love that about you and your blog. You are my BFF in my head. We even share the same Anniversary. Ours is 10-27-12. Keep going and being real! Sometimes

  • Buzybeekm
    October 30, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Thanks for sharing and being so transparent! I couldn’t agree more with all of your advice.

  • Bobbie
    October 30, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    Trina, I’m not married-yet, but I will definately keeo your advice in the fore front of my mind when my time comes around. Thank you for always being so transparent

  • Cristine
    October 31, 2017 at 11:14 am

    This is so helpful. As a newlywed, we’re enjoying both the newlywed bliss and drama LOL. Thank you for sharing and being transparent! Happy 10 Years to you and your husband. <3

  • Kesha
    October 31, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Excellent advice! Loved it!

  • Ayana
    November 1, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    YES!!!!! Such great advice!!

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