• My first time vending with @supermomculture at @craftsavvymarket today. I had so many moments leading up to today that I told myself that it would be a lot easier to just quit and not have a both.  But then I thought, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.  Just remember when you have an idea that starting is half the battle.  It won’t be easy but it can be done! Thank you @craftsavvymarket for having me today.  Mr and the girls helped out so much. I have no clue who the little girl is on the left but she stayed with us the whole day.
  • And another ☝🏾. My precious babies. How did Harper grow up so fast! She looks 6! Slow down baby! #pictureday
  • TBT The outfit that started my love affair with @suakokobetty. This was 7 years ago! On Saturday I’ll be chatting momprenuership with Suakoko Betty owner @iamcharlenedunbar at the @craftsavvymarket. Event is free! Plus you can shop @supermomculture and 25 other handmade vendors. Time flies! I’m still desperately trying to fit back in it! My goal for 2020!
  • Fall school pics are in and Peyton made mama proud! Low key annoyed they cut off her beautiful puff. It’s good to see all my hard work taking pics for the blog have paid off in these school pics. picture day hack: stick to a tried and true hair style. I tried something diff once and Peyton looked like Kid from Kid n Play. I didn’t even order any. Don’t do it!
  • Getting ready for our first vendor sale at @craftsavvymarket in Atlanta this Saturday! I’ll have hoodies, tees, bags and a few new items 😆. Special discount st the event. Plus your girl will be sharing her story about her entrepreneurial journey!  Event is free! RSVP to enter to win $50! Follow @craftsavvymarket for details! PS. I lost my GAP folding skills. Judge your supermama 😂
  • Me busting into 2020! Amazing day at @cantuxcurlboxmasterclass19! So many gems from @myleik @meccagamble @thefinancebar @theamonyee today! These ladies didn’t come to play. Real talk from start to finish. I’ll share my takeaways on my stories later but @cantubeauty commitment to insuring we take action and holding us accountable is what I needed.  Time is up for going to events and not taking action.  I’m ready! 📷 @daynabolden. Hat from #targetstyle Jeans #fashionova
  • Some weekend project inspiration! Cleaned out my kitchen cabinets to get ready for the holidays.  Details on blog https://heytrina.com/kitchen-cabinet-drawer-organization/
  • We’re taking neon right into winter! I saw @funmiford with this coat on a few weeks ago and ordered it the next day.  Wouldn’t you know, it matches my @supermomculture hoodie perfectly! Consider this my winter uniform. Details and links are on the blog heytrina.com. Link to hoodie in my profile. 📷 @kaynjames
  • Nobody:
Me: Let me clean out all my kitchen cabinets along with everything else going on 😆. I actually enjoy decluttering (my spaces, not others). Swipe ->. My mind feels at peace when spaces are clean and organized.  Ever since @pinchofhelp did my master bathroom, I’ve been on a mission.  I’m not good like her but I stalk her IG daily for all her tips and before & afters.  My kitchen is (almost) ready for Thanksgiving! Please send positive vibes on the rest of the projects we have going on 🙏🏿. Details on the blog. Link in profile #heytrinashome #babyshopahome
  • Doing a mini extreme home makeover just in time for the holidays! Shout out to Mr for speaking my love language and getting ish done in the house (wife porn as @snackswithjack calls it 😆). This past wknd he knocked out our 20ft foyer and hung my new chandelier! It was like watching the Berlin Wall come down 🙌🏾. Also thankful that we didn’t have any incidents on this scaffold 😓. I was so happy when they picked it up cuz my nerves were so bad. We still have a lot more to do but we’re chipping away.  Make sure you watch my stories for updates.
  • Peyton as Cecilia from Decendants. Instead of a wig I used a clip in ponytail.  I may use it in the future for myself if I’m feeling feisty. She went to school as Run DMC because she was unsure if they could dress up or not.  Can your kids dress up at school?
Anniversary Mamanista Marriage Parenting

Black Love: What I’ve Learned From 10 Years of Marriage

October 30, 2017

I’m still on a high from celebrating my 10 year anniversary. We enjoyed a wonderful night of wine and dining in Buckhead. Mister is known to pull out the romantic stops and he did not disappoint. It seriously felt like our wedding night again. I’m not gonna lie but I feel like I have a little marriage swag now that I’ve hit 10 years happily married. I’m not saying that my marriage has been perfect all 10 years. We’ve had some bumps in the road along the way dealing with communication, family, and finances. I’m happy to report that I am more in love with this man today than I have ever been. With no examples of #BlackLove around me, it is by God’s grace that I’m here. I thought I would share what I’ve learned over the years that have kept our love strong and growing. Materialistic items are great, but the things I’m about to mention are much more important.

  • Don’t compare your marriage to other marriages. I see the hashtag #RelationshipGoals on every photo of a good looking couple kissing. You don’t know what people have gone through to get there or if you’re willing to do it. My husband is an angel, so I give him most of the credit for our happy marriage and follow his lead. Everyone is different and our tolerance levels are different. I also don’t stay mad long so my husband lucked out with that.
  • Have sex often. Sex is a big part of a marriage. If you’re not having sex, you’re going to have problems. My husband would like it daily but we have settled on a realistic amount of times per week. Sometimes we hit that number, sometimes we don’t but we try. If either of you aren’t quite in the mood, perhaps adult content from somewhere like Tube v Sex could be used to try and get both of you sexually excited.

Shirts from Brand Ave Clothing

  • Initiate sex. We don’t always have to wait to for men tap us on the shoulder. Sometimes we should take the initiative. Everyone wants to feel wanted and desired, that includes our husbands. Sometimes it might even be a good idea to spice up the bedroom with a silicone love doll but talk to him about it first, communication is import for any sexual explorations.
  • Practice random acts of kindness. I love nothing more than to get a text in the middle of the day from my husband telling me he loves me and that I’m a great mom even though when he left me I had on ratty sweats and a bonnet on my head. I’ve followed his lead by sending him random I love you texts and messages of appreciation.
  • Pick your battles. This is super important. I don’t have the time and energy to fight everything that I don’t agree with. I save that for the big ones. Fighting every little thing is exhausting and will come off as nagging. I just say “If you think that’s best” so if it fails, he’ll know the next time *wink*!
  • Everything isn’t always 50/50. As mothers, we carry most of the load of the household and children. It is what it is. My husband works a lot and I hold it down while he’s gone. I get frustrated about mom life but when he’s home he tries his best to take things off my plate. We just need to make sure we schedule some much needed self care time away from the family to recharge.
  • Be your husbands biggest cheerleader. My husband says that I’m really good at this. I was a cheerleader in high school soooo. We need to continue to uplift our men because if we don’t who will (besides thots lol!).
  • Tackle problems together. It can be hard but try your best to work as a team when your families face challenges. We’ve dealt with unemployment and financial hardships a few times since we got married. There were times when I had to hold it down and vice versus. Now I’m at home with the girls. If I had to (I don’t want to) I would go back to work if needed. We’re a team.
  • Read the 5 Love Languages. Every couple should read this book. I read this book for a book club when I was just dating Mister. It really helps you understand that everyone feels loved in different ways. You’ll notice changes when you start speaking your partners love language.
  • Look at yourself. This ties in with love languages. What are you doing to make the marriage better? What could you be doing differently? If things don’t work out, at least you know you tried.
  • Don’t be selfish. You can’t be selfish in a marriage. Coincidently at church this Sunday, they were wrapping up the series of what Happy Couples Know. It basically boils downs to happy couples give and love without expecting anything in return. We both give 100% regardless of what we think the other is doing.
  • Marriage doesn’t change people. One of the biggest choices you make in marriage is who you marry. If the person you decide to marry is selfish before marriage, it will be magnified once you are married. Walking down the aisle doesn’t make things go away.

If you would have shared these things with me before meeting Mister, I would have been like “Girl, please! He better do this, this and this. I’m not doing this or that.” I have grown so much since meeting my husband. I always say he’s my angle because I think he’s perfect (90% of the time). He makes me want to be a better person. He says the same about me and I don’t know why. Back to my church sermon, they said that happy couples continue to think more of the other person than themselves.

I’m not sharing all this the brag about how in love I am but to encourage others. Black Love is amazing but we have to want it and work for it. I’ve shared stories about my relationship with my father that was only the last 2 years of his life. I never saw any positive examples of black love. God sent me my husband and I knew I didn’t want to mess it up. I don’t claim to be the perfect wife. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve tried to learn from them. Getting married is easy, staying married is the hard part. I hope this post helps or encourage someone.

I’ll be sharing answers to your relationship questions soon. I promise I’m not turning into a “wife” coach but I’ve kissed a lot of frogs and dogs so I know bad relationships very well. I to share and I would be wrong if I didn’t share this. Please feel free to share your marriage tips in the comments. Feel free to share this post.

  • Narisa Lloyd
    October 30, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    This post was right on time, thank you!🙏🏽

  • Kim Lucretia Edwards
    October 30, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Well written piece! Loved it. Was very helpful

  • Ima
    October 30, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    So good!!!! Honest and a great reminder for us newer wives 🙂

  • Ivory Toomer
    October 30, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    You are so real and honest. I love that about you and your blog. You are my BFF in my head. We even share the same Anniversary. Ours is 10-27-12. Keep going and being real! Sometimes

  • Buzybeekm
    October 30, 2017 at 5:34 pm

    Thanks for sharing and being so transparent! I couldn’t agree more with all of your advice.

  • Bobbie
    October 30, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    Trina, I’m not married-yet, but I will definately keeo your advice in the fore front of my mind when my time comes around. Thank you for always being so transparent

  • Cristine
    October 31, 2017 at 11:14 am

    This is so helpful. As a newlywed, we’re enjoying both the newlywed bliss and drama LOL. Thank you for sharing and being transparent! Happy 10 Years to you and your husband. <3

  • Kesha
    October 31, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Excellent advice! Loved it!

  • Ayana
    November 1, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    YES!!!!! Such great advice!!

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